If you notice even one of these warning signs of suicide in someone you love, take it seriously. As a church family, we believe every life is sacred and worth fighting for. Many people who die by suicide showed warning signs beforehand, and recognizing them can save a life.
If someone is in danger right now, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at any time. illuminate church is not a counseling or crisis center, but we have gathered trusted mental health resources, and you can ask our team to pray with you.
This list goes with “Suicide,” a message in our series Weeds in My Garden, a series built so that all people will know it is okay to say “I am not okay,” and that God wants to meet us there.
If you only have a minute:
- Take every sign seriously. Even one is enough reason to reach out.
- Ask directly. “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking does not plant the idea. It opens the door for help.
- Stay close. Don’t leave them alone, and make sure someone safe is with them.
- Get help now. Call or text 988, or call 911 if they are in immediate danger.
Why the warning signs of suicide matter
Suicide is now the third leading cause of death for teens and young adults between 15 and 24. In America, someone dies by suicide every 11 minutes. It is also closer than many of us think: when our church took a survey during this series, about 1 out of every 20 people said they were struggling with suicidal thoughts or self-harm.
Someone may say, “I would never do that,” or “That could never happen to me.” Most people who died by suicide probably thought the same thing at one point. That is why it matters to know what to look for.
17 warning signs of suicide to watch for
What they talk about
- Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Expressing unbearable emotional or physical pain with no visible way out
What they do
- Looking for ways to die (searching online, buying a gun, stockpiling pills)
- Giving away prized possessions
- Saying goodbye to friends and family as if they won’t see them again
- Making final arrangements (updating a will, organizing finances)
- Themes of death in conversations, social media posts, art or journaling
Changes in mood and behavior
- Sudden mood swings, especially seeming unusually calm or happy after a long depression
- Withdrawing from friends, family, church and activities they once loved
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Extreme agitation, rage or talk of revenge
- Reckless behavior (driving dangerously, unsafe sex and so on)
Their history
- Previous suicide attempts (the strongest predictor of future attempts)
What to do the moment you notice warning signs of suicide
Take it seriously, every time
Suicide is never a joke. It is so much better to be safe than sorry.
Ask directly
When you notice warning signs, ask about suicide directly. A question like “Are you planning on hurting yourself?” may be too vague. Ask plainly: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” or “Are you thinking about suicide?”
If they say yes, ask: “Have you thought about how you would do it?” “Have you decided when?” “Have you done anything to get the things you would need?” If the answer to any of these is yes, call 911. Tell the dispatcher the person is at risk for suicide, ask for a mental health crisis professional if one is available, and stay with the person.
Listen without judgment
Let them talk. You don’t have to fix everything or have the perfect words. Your presence says more than a speech.
Stay with them and get help
- Stay with them, or make sure someone safe stays with them.
- Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7).
- Drive them to the nearest emergency room if needed.
What this means for you
Your openness and concern give the person who is hurting permission to talk, and they may feel less alone and even a bit relieved. If we hide from the subject, they will hide the subject from us until it is too late. So care enough to ask. For a step-by-step guide, read how to help someone who is suicidal.
Does asking about suicide make it worse?
No. It is a myth that asking a person about suicide will encourage them to attempt it. The opposite is true. Asking someone directly about suicidal feelings often lowers their anxiety and can act as a deterrent.
Remember, too, that it is not a sin to be sick. Someone showing these warning signs is in a fight for their life. Chemical malfunctions, situational trauma and clinical challenges can all be crashing down on them at once. Be near. Be a voice of hope and truth.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
If you are the one struggling
Please reach out right now. Call or text 988, or text a trusted friend: “I need help.” You are not a burden. You are the one and only you, and you are irreplaceable. You are not your thoughts. You are loved by the Father and by us.
Emotions don’t last forever. They come in waves, crash and then fall away. Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling. And it is a lie that the people around you would be better off without you.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)
A prayer you can pray right now
Father, You are close to the brokenhearted. Wrap Your arms around ___________ right now. Silence every lie that says death is the only answer. Give me courage and the right words. Send help quickly. Let them feel Your presence and our love in tangible ways today. In Jesus’ name, amen.
For comfort from Scripture, read 7 Bible verses about mental health to pray, or Psalm 34 on Bible Gateway. If you have lost someone, read biblical hope in grief. Our mental health resources page also has the Help and Hope video series, 10 short videos from licensed mental health counselor Mike Maher on how to walk with someone through anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts.
Wherever you are today, there is a next step. If you want to know more about who Jesus is, start here. If you need someone to pray with you, reach out to our prayer and care team. And if you live near Kissimmee, Florida, we would love to see you on a Sunday.
Frequently Asked Questions About Warning Signs of Suicide
What are the most common warning signs of suicide?
Common signs include talking about wanting to die, feeling hopeless or like a burden, looking for ways to die, giving away prized possessions, saying goodbye, withdrawing from people, and sudden calm after a long depression.
What should I do if I notice warning signs of suicide?
Take it seriously, ask directly, “Are you thinking about suicide?”, listen without judgment and stay with them. Call or text 988 together, or call 911 if they are in immediate danger.
Does asking about suicide put the idea in someone’s head?
No. That is a myth. Asking directly often lowers a person’s anxiety and helps them feel less alone.
Where can I get help right now?
Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911 if someone is in immediate danger. You can also contact illuminate church’s prayer and care team.
