“It is not good for the man to be alone.” God was not saying, “Oops, I forgot something!” He was making a declaration for all of humanity, and it tells us something foundational about God’s design for marriage: it was His idea from the very beginning.
Too often marriage gets talked about like a punchline: it’s hard, it’s awful, and nobody is happy. Every time that stereotype gets repeated, marriage takes another loss. But if you have a marriage, you have a good thing, because you have a God thing. And no matter what has happened in your marriage, it can be reclaimed. God’s name is Redeemer.
This post comes from “Marriage Is God’s Idea,” the first message in our Offensive Marriages series about taking marriages back from the enemy and putting them on offense.
If you only have a minute:
- Marriage is a good gift. It came from God, and every good gift is from Him (James 1:17).
- We were not made to be alone. Aloneness leads to self-centeredness and self-sufficiency.
- Marriage was God’s plan, not ours. Adam was asleep. He had nothing to do with it.
- A garden marriage is still possible. Closeness, openness and “naked and unashamed” can be reclaimed today.
Marriage is a good gift from a good God
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)
Marriage is a good gift, because it is from God. To be clear, people have corrupted this good gift, the same way we have corrupted money, sexuality, wine and the earth. But the original institution of marriage is a blessing, because it came directly from the Lord.
That means speaking down on marriage is really speaking down on the gift and the Giver. You can read the whole story in Genesis 2.
The Creator is also the Designer
“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.’” (Genesis 2:15-17)
The first thing God does after giving man a home is give him a command. The message from the start is: I am the Creator, so I am also the Designer. God has a plan for how His creation works best, His plan is revealed in His instructions, and those instructions have outcomes, both physical and spiritual.
In this message, it was pointed out that the Hebrew phrase for “certainly die” carries the idea of “dying, you will die.” Adam and Eve didn’t drop dead, but their bodies began dying, and their spirits were cut off from God. Marriage was the second thing God designed, and humanity still gets to choose whether to follow His design.
Why it is not good for man to be alone
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18)
Five times in creation God called what He made good, and the sixth time very good. Then He says man’s aloneness is not good. This is not God realizing a mistake. It is a declaration, and for all of humanity that follows, it is revelation.
Aloneness here is not sin. Sin hasn’t entered the world yet; that comes in Genesis 3. It simply means being alone is not the best state for a human being. If man were alone, he would learn some bad habits:
- Self-centeredness. Everything is for me. Life revolves around my preferences.
- Self-sufficiency. I have no need for others, and eventually no need for God.
- Self-end. If I am alone, I am the last human.
God does not exist alone, so neither should we
Genesis 1:27 says we are created in the image of God, male and female. God exists as a Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. That relational nature is His image, His DNA, placed in us.
Marriage is God’s primary answer to aloneness. Not aloneness in the sense of loneliness, since Adam had perfect fellowship with God, but in the sense that we need others to help us and we need to help others the way God helps us. In others we see God. In others we learn to serve and sacrifice, which is the heart of God.
God’s design for marriage in Genesis 2
God brought the animals to Adam to name. In naming them, it was easy for Adam to see that no partner like him existed: no one who looked like him, talked like him, or could share life with him. “But for Adam no suitable helper was found” (Genesis 2:20).
“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21-22)
Why put Adam to sleep? This is key. Adam had nothing to do with it. He can’t take credit for it, and he won’t mess it up. Marriage is totally God’s idea. If it had been man’s idea, would he have chosen one woman for life, to love sacrificially, serve and stay faithful to? Probably not. That’s exactly why God’s way is better than ours.
“The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:23-25)
Adam found his corresponding partner: bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. God created marriage before sin ever entered the world. It was not Adam’s idea. It was God’s.
What a garden marriage looks like
The first married couple were naked before God and each other, and they felt no shame. We tend to read that with corrupted minds, but in the Garden it was a sign of closeness and innocence. Pure. Unadulterated. Beautiful. It’s about being fully known and fully loved, with no fear, no hiding and no pretending. And God’s design for marriage is still possible today.
In this message, the story was shared of a marriage of nearly 27 years. It was a good marriage: surely in love, but not always closely connected, sharing life but not always on the same page. Then the couple went away and sought the Lord for a vision for their marriage. They came back not just renewed, but changed. Here is what that looked like.
1. Seek God’s vision for your marriage together
Get away, even briefly, and ask the Lord what He wants your marriage to become. Remember what a wonderful and important thing God did in giving you each other.
2. Talk about everything
They talked about everything, from communication to money to physical intimacy, and they looked each other in the eyes. When was the last time you and your spouse really did that?
3. Serve each other in small ways
A packed lunch waiting downstairs before work. A back scratch first thing in the morning. Small, but wow. Small things make a big impact.
4. Meet weekly to realign
They now meet weekly to reassess, look each other in the eyes, and align to the vision for their marriage. Each day it feels more like a return to the garden. Intimacy with God made room for intimacy with each other.
What this means for you
When is the last time you were naked and unashamed before your spouse, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually? If something is keeping you from that, don’t get discouraged. Open your heart to be hopeful about your marriage, no matter what has happened. Healing is coming.
What if you are single?
Listen and learn, because one or both of these are true: you may get married one day, and you know someone who is married. You can be good counsel to them: “I’m not married, but I set my mind to learning so I could help, and here’s what I’ve learned.”
If you are single because of a painful loss, whether death or divorce, set your heart on redemption today. God doesn’t cause all things, because He has given us free will, but He can use all things for good. If that’s your story, these scriptures for healing after divorce may help.
Marriage reflects God’s love
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)
Your marriage is meant to be more than a contract. It’s a covenant, a living picture of Christ’s love for the church. So don’t settle. Pursue a garden marriage filled with trust, intimacy and God’s presence. This is the marriage God designed, and it’s worth reclaiming.
Marriage has been under attack since the Garden. Read the next part of the series: 3 tricks of the devil and how to defeat them. If you want to grow with others, our Equip Groups help you dive deeper into life and faith together.
Wherever you are today, there is a next step. If you want to know more about who Jesus is, start here. If you need someone to pray with you, reach out to our prayer and care team. And if you live near Kissimmee, Florida, we would love to see you on a Sunday.
Frequently Asked Questions About God’s Design for Marriage
What is God’s design for marriage?
In Genesis 2, God makes a suitable partner for Adam, brings her to him, and the two “become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). God’s design for marriage is a lifelong, one-flesh union He created before sin entered the world, marked by closeness, openness and no shame.
Why did God create marriage?
God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We are made in the image of a relational God, and in marriage we learn to help, serve and sacrifice for another person, which is the heart of God.
Is marriage God’s idea or man’s idea?
God’s. Adam was asleep when God made Eve and brought her to him (Genesis 2:21-22). He had nothing to do with it, so marriage is totally God’s idea and God’s gift.
What does “naked and unashamed” mean in marriage?
Genesis 2:25 describes closeness and innocence: being fully known and fully loved, with no fear, no hiding and no pretending. It is about emotional and spiritual openness, not just physical intimacy.
Can a struggling marriage be restored?
Yes. God’s name is Redeemer. Open your heart to be hopeful about your marriage, seek His vision for it together, and take small, intentional steps toward each other.
